Rachna Singh, Editor, The Wise Owl talks to Rupa Anand about her book 'To the Edgeless Sky & back: Healing through haikai' The book chronicles Rupa's courageous cancer journey through poetry.

Rachna Singh, Editor, The Wise Owl talks to Rupa Anand about her recently released poetry collection ‘To the Edgeless Sky and Back.’ The book chronicles Rupa’s courageous cancer journey through poetry.

 

Thank you so much Rupa for taking time out to talk with The Wise Owl. Let me start by saying that your fortitude, courage and spiritual beauty shines through every verse of the book and forges a close emotional bond with the reader.  

 

RS: The title of your book ‘To the Edgeless Sky & Back’ is beautiful. What was the thought behind giving your poetry collection this evocative title?

 

RA: Thank you, Rachna, for your interest in my book. Actually, I was stumped when it came to the choice of a title. I reached out to Teji Sethi, my dear friend from Triveni Haikai India. And voila, she picked it right out from one of my poems - my dedication to Sri Krishna -

 

He

takes my hand

in His

and walks me

to the edgeless sky and back

 

 to Sri Krishna of the Lunar dynasty

~ the blue boy of Vrindavan ~

 

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RS: Our readers would be curious to know what made you document your cancer journey through poetry? Was there any specific incident, moment or experience that made you decide to do so?

 

RA: Yes, there was. I had got my oncological treatment (comprising of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation) done at the Max Institute of Cancer Care, Saket from July 2020 to January 2021 and active physio for lymphedema went on till mid 2022 at Apollo. It was at the peak of covid and rather uncertain times for everyone. There was total social isolation. The Max Oncology department is known to host many get-togethers and events that bring breast cancer patients together in an informal manner. There was one such event after covid in November 2022 that they hosted at Camera Museo in Gurugram. I was requested to read out bits of my free verse anthology called It’s Time to the audience and speak briefly about my cancer journey. Later an ex-Associate Editor with the Times of India Group came up to me and said he liked what I had to say and requested me to pen my journey (chronicling, as I call it) into a book. I think the idea to do it via the medium of poems was a natural outcome.

 

RS: Your poetry collection is divided into seven parts: pre-cancer, diagnosis, chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, rehabilitation, chemotherapy, and post cancer. What was the thought process behind structuring your book in this way?

 

RA: Actually, it was very spontaneous. The five stages of my treatment were very clear. Then came the thought - “Who was I before cancer happened?” “And, who am I, now?” So, pre-cancer and post-cancer were added. Then the thought of linking it to my spiritual knowledge came. The number 7 assumes a unique place in our Hindu scriptures. I remember calling my spiritual teacher, Swami Nikhilananda Saraswati and we discussed this: 7 colours, 7 seas, 7 continents, 7 mandalas, 7 swaras, 7 upper lokas, 7 lower lokas, 7 rishis, and so forth. We immediately settled on the 7 chakras, without offering any explanations. In true haikai style, I left it to the reader to draw his or her own conclusions.

 

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RS: Could you describe your writing process during each phase of your treatment? Did you find it therapeutic, challenging, or both?

 

RA: You know, Rachna, neither. Most of the haikai poems were written a little after the treatment. And the free verse ones were written at various stages of my life. What was to become the driving force later was this desire to express ‘my story’ to those experiencing the same. At a spiritual level of understanding, everything happening around us gradually unfolds. I have learnt to recognise and trust this ‘unfoldment’ as I go along.

 

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RS: How has your poetry collection been received by readers, especially those who have gone through similar experiences?

 

RA: Initially, I was sceptical, very diffident about the entire book.  But believing in the adage, “Do your best and leave the rest” I left the ‘rest’ to the universe!  I have been humbled and truly shocked by the responses received by those who attended.  They have taken it very well, especially those who have gone through a similar process. The cancer community was well represented at the book launch. Friends, known and unknown touched by cancer responded, and forwarded the invite further, via social media. I had kept the evening at the India International Centre as an open one, which meant that anyone remotely interested could attend.

 

The most gracious responses were from unexpected sources. My Aao Milo Group of ladies in Shanti Niketan, a colony where I reside, were silent on their way back home. “So, ladies, what have you learned from today evening’s programme?” was the question posed in the car. A dear friend, Mrs Padma Chib, an ex-diplomat’s wife thought the honouring of doctors was very touching. Members of the diplomatic community were seen taking notes when each doctor, Kala and Teji spoke. The response has been spectacular and truly humbling. In fact, I have requested Kala to do a two-day Triveni Haikai India festival next winter here in Delhi. There are many people interested in learning the nuances of writing haiku.

 

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RS: What did you learn about yourself through the process of writing and reflecting on your cancer journey? Were there any unexpected moments of clarity or revelation that emerged while writing your poems?

 

RA: I am a person who writes from experience, simple, everyday experiences. As cancer was a part of my experience, how could I not write about it? 

 

I think experiencing a haiku moment, recording it in memory, then spinning a poem out of it is quite an amazing process. Going back to the poem, sitting on it for a while, re-crafting the words around is fun.  Illness is not different or apart from everyday life. I have put together this book in the spirit of light heartedness or karumi as it’s called in Japanese haiku poetry. This light heartedness acts as a balm as we grapple for answers to our problems and cures for our ailments. I have deliberately kept the humour straight forward and direct, something that most cancer patients do not like to talk about, especially in India. My study of Advaita Vedanta has honed my clarity to being pretty much crystal clear. This is what satsang does. I quote from Sri Ramacharitmanas by Sant Tulsidas:

 

बिनु सतसंग विवेक न होई।

राम कृपा बिनु सुलभ न सोई

 

Viveka is the ability to discriminate between the essential and the non-essential. In brief, this doha means that without satsang or the company of the good, wisdom or viveka does not awaken and without God's grace it's not possible to hear satsang.

 

I merely bring these insights into my poetry.

 

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RS: What broader themes or messages do you hope readers take away from your collection?

 

RA: I sincerely hope cancer is dusted out from under the Indian carpet. I want people to talk about cancer - the patients, the caregivers, the spouses, the immediate and extended families, so that others may learn and share. There is this stigma in India surrounding cancer that I hope to dispel. There is nothing to hide. I have friends who do not talk about it; others who cover it up and pretend it doesn’t exist; still others who lie about it and are in denial. It’s debilitating and awful. Possibly, it’s the result of an Asian mindset. It’s a very different story in the west where people are open, honest and straightforward. I hope that as a nation, we learn that is okay to be ill, or dying. It’s part of the living process. I hope people talk about cancer and accept it. I hope people understand the brevity and fragility of their existence here on earth.

 

 

RS: How do you think poetry, as an art form, can contribute to the conversation around illness and healing?

 

RA: Any discomfort is difficult to convey in words. Art in the form of poetry, writing, painting becomes the means to express that which is ‘beyond words’ that which is in the MOMENT. If anyone believes that we’re separate or distinct from Nature is truly mistaken. Different, yes, but most definitely Not Separate. “Heal” means to make whole. We’re already WHOLE, just don’t know it. Healing doesn’t mean curing; but being aware of our Wholeness! Our connection with fellow humans, the Earth and the elements and most importantly with other beings as well. Haiku brings us into the present moment where healing resides. The Here & Now. It shifts attention from the thinking mind to the intuitive mind bringing joy and peace, albeit for a short period.

 

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RS: What advice would you give to other individuals who might be considering documenting their own health journeys through creative writing?

 

RA: Go ahead and follow your heart. Keep a journal and write daily or weekly. Who knows it may turn into a book!

 

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RS: Is there anything else you would like to share about your journey, your poetry, or your hopes for the future?

 

RA: Thank you, for having me on the Wise Owl, Rachna. The cancer journey continues. I am in remission, and nobody knows what the future holds. Poetry has become an addiction. It’s a 24X7 occupation and has saved me. I am deeply indebted to the fraternity of poets worldwide for their support and of course to Triveni Haikai India for taking this fledgling under its care. The future will unfold as it does, when it does! 

 

Thank you so much Rupa for sharing your innermost thoughts on your cancer journey with us. I’m sure the courage and fortitude you have shown during your tough journey will be a source of inspiration for many. The Wise Owl team wishes you the best in your life and creative journey.